Changing the Patterns
“Family of Origin” refers to the family in which we grew up. This includes our immediate family and extended family. The truth is, there is no perfect family environment. Most of the time, family did the best job they knew how to do. For some, that meant growing up in a great, nurturing environment where you felt loved and safe. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for everyone.
Some grow up in an environment where there is chaos, illness, addiction, frequent moves, abuse, or other homes that didn’t provide the ideal home. As much as we don’t want that to affect our current situations and relationships as adults, it often does. It can manifest itself in exhibiting those same patterns or trying so hard to avoid those same habits that you end up doing the exact opposite, which can also be harmful. It can come out in a lack of boundaries in relationships or make it difficult to connect with people.
It is possible to process any hurt that you may have experienced in order to grow and learn new patterns of behavior. If you didn’t learn those from your family of origin, you can learn them now. It’s not too late!
This is not a process of blaming your family. It’s recognizing what you might have missed learning as a child and figuring out how to do it now, as an adult. This will allow you to give and show love, safety and security in your current and future relationships and function in a much happier and healthier way.
Counselor: Amy Harshman